The first Lemon

In life you get what you get,you don't pick your parents,siblings etc..that is where my first lemon began.At the age of 3 my dad left my mom for another woman.This devastated me as I was close to him and didn't understand why he would leave.His new woman had kids and he said he loved them,and needed to care for them.What about me???

My second Lemon was when I was 6 and my dad left the province to move to BC.I asked if I could go ,my mom said no and my dad just left saying again he needed to be with his new family who he loved and me?Wasnt I loved?

Lemon 3 Dad visits after 4 years with his new wife and my little sister from his new wife.We drive to the shopping center .He buys us stuff takes us for dinner and to a park then drops us at our apartment saying he loves us and will see us again.Just like that he is gone.

It took 4 years for him to come back.Again brings his new wife and my little sister.She is yelled at by my mom and we have our visit cut short as they really dont think about us .We are kids and we feel like its all our fault,my sister is 6 what does she know its not her fault either.

I looked for someone anyone who would love me.At the age of 13 Im raped by a friend of my moms son who was supposed to teach me guitar.I never said anything to my mom and just went into a wild ride of drugs alcohol and sleeping with anyone who would have me.

We dont hear from him except letters telling me the music I like is satanic and i will go to hell for listening to it.At 13 I feel like I have no dad and he hates me.

The years pass and 17 I decide I want to see him so I call and ask if I can come for a visit. He sends the tickets and I head to Calgary AB  as that is where he was living.I see what life is with them.They pronouce to be Christian and love God but the hate they spew for my mom says otherwise.It comes to the point where I need to go home,but dad wants me to stay,leave my mom and abandon my life and stay.I cant do that she is my mom and the other woman is not,she may look like she cares about me but she hates me and reminds me that my dad loves her and her kids. 

Fast forward to adult hood.Im getting married to the man I love and father to our 6 children.I want my dad to be there.I invite him and am told No I cant do that Im sorry.Excuses get given from an appendectomy to he is not well but reality is He just didnt care to and one of my step sisters is getting amrried for the second time and he cant miss that.

At his 65th birthday I surprise him {one of my step siblings ideas].While im there he pulls me aside and with her tell me to stay and never go back.I look at him in horror,I have 6 children and my husband waiting for me.The response is you can have more children and if it works you can just go and take them and bring them here if that is what you want.I have no words for them.At that point I realize they are evil and not christian at all.I cant wait to get home .He drives me to the airport and tells me he loves me and just wants a life with me,Dad you have no idea how you have hurt me I just want to be home.

Years pass I get a call on my birthday and occasionally I call them to chat but that is it until We decide to move to BC.I tell my dad and his response is knowone hear has money to give you. We go as that is our plan.I tell my hubby Jeff I dont want to be close to his home.We settle in the interior and live in a camp ground for 2 weeks until we find a house.Once we are in the house my father comes for a visit and brings an old TV so the kids have something to watch,nice gesture.He tells me they are geading for a camping trip maybe we can join them.I talk with Jeff we decide one nite may be ok.So we go and the kids meet cousins they have never known and aunts and uncles as well.

That was the first time and the last we went camping with them.Our life in BC was and is good.We have had contact with them but not more than 1-2 times a year.I stopped begging and asking for a relationship with someone who never wanted one from me.

Then the phone call comes in the middle of the night from my step brother your dad is dead.

I dont know whether to cry or just be pissed.He was 30 minutes from my house and chose to skip me and go see my younger sister and said ill see her on my way back.Well God had another plan and now your dead.

The next morning I get a call saying they are reading his will at 11 am Ive been mentioned in it but Im 4 hrs away and cant get there and they wont wait which Im sure is not legal but I dont have the money to fight them and my step siblings have plenty.

On the drive down there I sit in silence.Arrive at the house and siblings are there going thru the plansa nd making plans all the while that was my dad Im his blood but I have no say and not even asked as they throw out stuffa nd go thru stuff and when I ask to see his will im told get a lawyer if you want to see it.

Again I just sit in silence and we head home after the funeral.

Constantly reminded my children are not believers and the flaws they have has left a bad taste in their eyes of what being a believer is all about.

I keep in contact with my step mom as she asked me to and my dad would want that as weird as that sounds I know he loved her and she seemed to need that from me.

This all comes to reality of just how wicked she and all of them are is when she dies.I am given  8000.00 AND TOLD THAT IS ALL ILL GET.Im not part of the estate anymore and they will all split my part.I feel betrayed and saddened but the reality is I cant be the person they are.I cant be that unkind and know in my sould that God is happy with me.I believe God is watching all this unfold and His judgement will be theirs and that saddens me,God help them.

Now my lemonade is done and thru all this I have a heart that still loves and cares and that is all I care about.